Won't you please come talk to me.......

I think people in general are missing a very basic skill: talking
Now ,ok , we all talk....I get it.

But does anyone really TALK and for that matter do we listen?
I know I used to talk .... A lot. About what ,I am really not sure. Probably about work and stuff related to it. And I probably talked way to much about it.
I have found myself trying to be a listener of late. It's not as easy as you think. I think even good listeners find it hard to have to concentrate on the nonsense we as humans rattle on about. I know at times I have been a bad listener . It's is something I actively try to do: just shut up and not say anything till I need to not when I want too.

Whatever happen to long into the night conversations about nothing but what popped into your head?
Why do we let work and life interfer with the basic need to connect to one another through talking...mutal.
Why is it people only really talk during crises or when one person has had a long day. But even then it's short and glossed over.
Why not just put the remote, the phone,the computer away....grab a few beers and just talk...both of you. I prefer one on ones because I like givening my attention to one person....but that's me. I adore sitting on the porch.....no kids... Just a fridge full of beer,music in the background, food on the grill and (insert favorite person)to talk to.



Mind you ,this has Nothing to do with what I really want to talk about.....





It's time to get myself fired.


But that's for Tuesday...I am tired and I have to deal with a one on one with my boss Tuesday . I really don't want to because I honestly don't care what he has to say anymore. But that's for tomorrow.



Here is some food porn and Elderflower drink which is my new favorite thing

Sylvia Plath I am not...

But I do write....I have been writing poems on and off for years. Here are some .

So it has come 

A weak flower,blistering in the scarlet heat 

Streams of sun float and bounce along

As the air of the new dawn cascades 

It tiptoes across my face

Dancing a merry tune so sweetly

Pushing past the darkness that came to feast

Upon my tender soul

Embracing me 

Taking me
To the place I long to be

Allowing me to finally be free

You look upon me with eyes of sad pools of yesterday

Searching for the moment 

The time when my whisper will set you free

The grieving you do is not for me or us

You feel not of that but of a shallow place within 

Tears stain a face that cares for none

A heart did not break but broke one

Chasing a dream finding only fleeting moments of nothing

Never catching what was already there

Time is slowly taking its toll

Stretching out thin,to the point of tearing

Days drift rapidly 

Waiting for no one 

Waiting for nothing

Catching its breath to make it slow down

Life gets engulfed ,trying to stay ahead

Lost in the tide of time 

To be forgotten 

To become nothing more.

The crisp air fills our lungs 

As we slowly move along the street

The withering trees banish their children to the ground

Leaps and bounds dying souls fall

Their crimson bodies break  beneath our  steps

We huddle together ,wondering

Waiting for the same fate

Happy to hold on to aged hands

Till the last leaf has fallen

Blessed are the Cheesemakers

I have to wonder how anything gets done at work . It's not that there are incompetent people around me..... Well that's not entirely true. But that's i suppose all in the beholder and I am sure there are some that think I am ( complete bullshit I might add)
But this week has thrown my kitchen into a tailspin that is nothing short of epic melt down of communication and crossing of lines.

What seems to be happening is that one of our managers,the GM, is in basic essence over stepping himself in my kitchen. But I believe in its basic manner, he is just trying to help. But the approach is pissing us off and breaking down the staff  moral we have taken care to build.

My sous N and I are trying to organize things and bring stuff to a good place where we are making food our guests enjoy and it's what they actually want. It's been a rough week though. Short staffed in cooks and dishwasher just puts more pressure and more problems. On top of it , I am being taking away from the kitchen to do other stuff,leaving N on his own with the GM who seems a little hell bent on proving him wrong.
Problem I see is the GM thinks that even I HAVE to listen to him.

Lol yeah, not.

I listen to all opinions given to me. But in the end it's all on me...everything food is on me.
And honestly with the GM messing about and coming changing stuff telling staff how to cook and portioning without even SPEAKING to one of us is crap.
Right now me and N are getting the short end of the stick and N is getting it harder in someways. His job was threaten today and that's crap. That's a big WHO the FUCK do YOU think YOU are????!!!
N is my employee and while he is stubborn and blockheaded,I trust him enough to know that even if I tell him to do something my way and he disagrees he will just to see if I am right cause if I am not he loves to say he was right.....it's more charming than it sounds because honestly I mostly do it to get under his skin and accept others people's way of doing something. I am more lets get a good end result. How he gets there and how I get there sometimes are different as long as we get there.

But don't you dare threaten my sous job! You do that you're threatening me and my job! I fought for N because he is smart and able. Like I said sometimes a bit " i know better" but that's more because we have a job to do and we can't stand still and be the same old crap.

So my job is to protect N and protect my staff. If I lose my job over it,then so be it. I have a career last I looked....I just happen to have a job here with it. I am lucky to be very smart and know my self worth and right now,I have a life worth living without all this mindless bullshit. I have earned the right to be able to do my job....just let me do my job the way I know how to do it...JUST LET me DO  IT!

I have a lot to think about over the weekend and a lot to write up so that I can speak what I need to say without interruption.

N and I had a few long talks today about everything and in the middle of it I did have to point out things that were wrong when I arrived during lunch and dinner service; i was helping the other dining hall with a special. But because of who I am and  in my own growth, conveying it to him wasn't hostile or bitchy or condescending.
I think he understood me better and that above all I did trust him to run the kitchen when I am not there. But only him.
I have his back.....I always will.

One last  thing that really is annoying about the GM :his flippant actions on how to correct something. If you're going to criticize the food and change it ,you better fucking make sure it's 5 star better not cafeteria crap "better". I will beat you down for that !










So...two chefs walk out of dining hall with ducks on their heads...........

You're an onion, you have layers....

My god ,people are EXHAUSTING!

It's food, right? It is not brain surgery and I am not here to cure cancer or reinvent the wheel.

So why do people have to be sooooo exhausting about it. Why does ordering food, storing,preparing ,cooling it down and storing it again have to be so dam complicated? Why is it a chore to see that if you want food a certain way and another place is doing it with a buggier budget,same amount of customers and more staff,.....shouldn't a big gosh darn RED flag go up...in SOMEONE'S head!!!


Ad this is just with people I sort have control over( control is a loose word, more I get in trouble when they don't listen to my suggestions which 97% are actually right)
I have a huge problem I have to fix that I know I can but at what cost......and is it worth aggravation ,headaches and not eating( wait , is beer a food group) then just to be told I suck by someone whose opinion of me does not hold much value?

This actually brings up a small point...I don't value certain people's professional opinion of me mostly cause they are on ,most days ,disrespectful about what I do and the job I need to do.


There is no good answer to my problem...my work one at least...lol



" sigh"  I feel like a salmon trying to spawn in jello.












I am fascinating....aren't I?

" snoopy dance"

Brought home work to do this weekend( had basically Sunday off and 3 hours off Saturday off...lol)









And I did NOTHING!!!!!!

Not one little thing and I could care less!!!!
It's not like I was on the brink of curing cancer.

The work will get done this week.... I fear not.
..
Need to leave the paperwork at work and just actually enjoy the downtime.
Ok I did some work.
I researched other gelato flavors......that was more fun than work and I read up on pickling and preserving.





Oh I am such a bad ass.

You have to open your eyes.

Still love this "song"








Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '99
Wear sunscreen

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it
The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists
Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
Than my own meandering experience, I will dispense this advice now

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh, never mind
You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth
Until they've faded but trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back
At photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now
How much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked
You are not as fat as you imagine

Don't worry about the future or worry that know that worrying
Is as affective as trying to solve an algebra equation
By chewing bubble gum
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things
That never crossed your worried mind
The kind that blindsides you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday
Do one thing every day that scares you

Sing

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts
Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours

Floss

Don't waste your time on jealousy
Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind
The race is long and in the end, it's only with yourself
Remember compliments you receive
Forget the insults, if you succeed in doing this, tell me how
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements

Stretch

The most interesting people
I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives
Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't
Get plenty of calcium, be kind to your knees
You'll miss them when they're gone

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't
Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't
Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the 'Funky Chicken'
On your 75th wedding anniversary
Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much
Or berate yourself either
Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can
Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it
It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own, dance
Even if you have nowhere to do it but your own living room
Read the directions even if you don't follow them
Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly

Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good Be nice to your siblings, they're your best link to your past
And the people most likely to stick with you in the future

Understand that friends come and go
But a precious few, who should hold on

Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle
For as the older you get, the more you need the people
You knew when you were young
Live in New York City once but leave before it makes you hard
Live in northern California once but leave before it makes you soft

Travel

Accept certain inalienable truths
Prices will rise, politicians will philander, you, too, will get old
And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young
Prices were reasonable, politicians were noble
And children respected their elders

Respect your elders

Don't expect anyone else to support you
Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse
But you never know when either one might run out

Don't mess too much with your hair
Or by the time you're 40 it will look 85

Be careful whose advice you buy but be patient with those who supply it
Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past
From the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts
And recycling it for more than it's worth

But trust me on the sunscreen


BAZ LUHRMANN - EVERYBODY'S FREE (TO WEAR SUNSCREEN) LYRICS

Snickerdoodle is a silly word ..because they don't snicker.

I am on a gelato flavor kick right now.
My next flavor to try is Guinness . Trying to figure out how much to add so I don't lose the creamy gelato texture or such. But want to keep the flavor.

Fun fact: Arthur Guinness  acquired the brewery at  St James Gate for a lease of 9,000 years at £45 a year.

So this is my research for today as I like to make it Wednesday since apparently    that is when Mr. Guinness died( look I missed his birthday shut up).

Going for banana split gelato , raspberry white chocolate,mango ginger, blueberry.....maybe even snazzeberry!!!!!!