Blow jobs and sauces

Lord , writing when you're "mad" and tired ...lol that should be a whole section of writing at Barnes and Noble.

So I have been a busy cooking baking bee ( I wrote that as busty cooking lol ) and 

evidence is below.

So I am heading basically down the home stretch of this year. 6 more weeks then they are gone and I can have a nap. Literally have a nap.
This is actually the more stressful time of year or it has been. But I am thinking approaching it differently. Before I have made myself upset,sick and bitchy because I took so much on to myself and never really let anyone help me. My bad. Trust issues ...lord.

Ok side bar.... Chefs should have built in therapy sessions. It should be a guarantee right that states have to provide that to all food service operations. I swear it would save the world a lot of money in the long run. Oh and bikini waxes...definitely bikini waxes.

So where was i ...oh yeah. So now I am writing 14 menus and each has to be unique and not things I have done before because it makes me cranky and bored to repeat myself . And my client enjoys the variety even if she won't admit it.
But I need inspiration......I need...lol ok need really is over dramatic .
I just made myself smile...and I honestly don't know why. Hahahaha.

This is actual fun for me...just sitting quietly doing research then twisting and turning it on its head ...making something new or a new version of it. Making multiple menus or very least writing things out till I like the way it looks or it appeals to my senses.
Writing it out is probably the most important thing for me because I usually don't have time to experiment. Most of my best work is just flying by my silk panties. Mostly it works out. I am always shocked when it does....not because I doubt my abilities but usually doubt the recipe lol.

So , I am looking to be inspired. It's actually harder than you think. To much generic crap is put there. I did watch a documentary about Ferran Adria the other day that really ...man it made me happy. I mean head over heels happy that I am a cook. Also really would have love to have worked at el bulli( goggle it....I am serious. Google it and Ferran Adria) . The process he has with his head chefs/sous chefs and how they think and teach. .....nothing short of inspiring. But of course, I am selfish. I need more . The documentary is called Cooking in Progress if you fancy watching it. There are subtitles....so yeah, you have to pay attention.

I really looking forward to these last few weeks.....to see what I can do. .....how far I can push things before I get a hand smacked.






Wouldn't mind a butt smacked either....RAWR .

In the wake of madness ,there is a light that never goes out ...........

It's almost 3 am and I can't sleep.

Pretty typical for me as the mind races with so much I want to write or say to someone...it feels like at times I have no one to talk to about what I want to say. It s probably the hour of the night.
I haven't been out in a while because of the need to conserve on money....eldest son off to college...( I have a kid old enough for college both makes me over joyed and OMG when did that happen)
I am feeling out of sorts but not in a bad way. I just have sooooo much to say and soooo much I want to do and soooo much that needs to get done . Mostly in my job because home life takes care of itself right now; it has to. March- May life is hectic at work. Four days off in 8 weeks. It literally sucks bulls balls.

Did you read my last post? Do you understand how much it suck to be a chef? Do you understand that we are all morons for doing it? Do you understand that we are literally insane and have no idea we are and make jokes that we are so we don't admit that we are?
Who would purposely chose a job that makes them drug addicts, womanizer,alcoholics or just run of the mill insane.
Cold hard truth....real chefs are self centered and insane . God forbid you love one of us because we make life hard...we do ! I couldn't even lie about this.. Ask any chef....go on..ask them about their spouse.
I keep looking at stuff for Chicago and Portland and think...geez I should have taken that offer inChicago when it was offered a few months ago. But I have this damn loyal thing for my kids.
Bless them .,they are my pride and joy but lord I cant wait till they are both on their own. I did wrong by my eldest. I should have decked him when he punched me in the back many months ago and i would have been stronger against him last year if I had been in a better state of mind but shit happens peeps.

But there is my head and it races like a 5 year old on crack.

I don't think I would have to deal with the stupidity of my work. But there you go, I do.


I wish to this heavenly god that men would just say what they want instead of tip toeing or being vague. You know why women get all messed up ...it's because men just don't say what they mean in black and white. Majority of chicks under stand black and white ...not pink or gray.


One last thing.....

Why the hell don't people just stand up and be accounted for? Ya mmFucked up...who cares! Shit happens and sometimes we fail! Sometimes we fail a lot. It's life . Humans are not perfect therefore shift will never be perfect. Best anyone can do in awesome.




Oh and my sous chef N and I would be amazing together if only he just let me be the executive chef and not be so pissy about me asking question . We be like Bonnie and Clyde or Starskey and Hutch or Shaggy and schobby do. But he gets mad when I question him. Does no understand the shit I have to deal with on a daily basis? And ya know.... I will question anything and everything. ... Because I am the god, Damn executive chef. It's my neck on the line ! No one else's.
Can any of you imagine that sort of pressure





And I am doing it all while losing weight, no caffeine, no soda and trying to have a normalish life .










I so need a rub down.

All I want is a gin and tonic......

So there is a list going around that was written by a person by the name of Kloii...a
50-things-they-never-told-you-about-being-a-chef


I think everyone of you need to read it. Mostly because then you might understand all this wonderful madness that goes into being a chef....a real chef. Maybe then you won't be such twats when you go out to eat and ask for stupid requests.

http://www.scribd.com/doc/112033847/50-things-they-never-told-you-about-being-a-chef

Oh oh Mr. Kottttter

Ok , this is sort been irritating me.
Why no comments, people?

I know there are probably some of you that just want to say .."Dear god,Learn some grammar and spelling , women!"


Hell , I asked for beer recommendation and NOTHING! I know some Germans are reading this and I got nothing. Nothing from the motherland is rather hurtful... Lol
Now , the lack of any really written love certainly won't stop me from continuing . That would be silly . But come on....a little love...pretty please ?

Haven't you longed to be free.....

My boss is really trying my nerves these past few days to the point my panties are in a huge twist and it is taking a lot of my own strong will stubbornness not to react or show much emotion to all the boneheaded crap he thinks is right.
Worse ,he blames me for stuff  that is clearly not my fault but because I am now being lumped into guilty by association which is COMPLETE crap. And so what if I associate with someone he doesn't like or worse stick up for them because clearly they actually are good for the group. But what do I know , it must be my pussy talking cause at 41 or so I clearly am clueless next to a cute boy. I must have been seduced by his charm.


Bahahahahah ...I actually made myself laugh at that.

"Growl"

Something is amiss right now...like something is dead wrong in my world. Not even with me but something is going on in the world I walk around in and that's bothersome. Not that I like peace and quiet because that's just boring. A little of silly drama makes for a bit of shit and giggles, but this is different. I hate people who hide shit. Just be honest. I mean seriously there is sparing feeling and then there is just being dishonest. And sparing someone's feelings does nothing but make shit worse.  

One thing I will say about myself of late is I have finally relaxed and let go of some of my controlling nature at work. It was just a bad habit brought on by nessesity cause I was flying solo for so long. A girl just naturally relies on no one after awhile when surrounded by idiots.



So annoying.......


And to boot I am drinking a beer that tastes like a mochaccino ....aughhhhhhhhh




Anyone wealthy enough and in need of a personal chef?.......anyone? I swear all I need is a bed in a
closet and your money , to buy you awesome ingredients .. :/
Ok ,maybe a jacuzzi  bathtub and a German pool man...I swear that's it.


Oh and an I home !

Before I pee......

So I forgot to add this and I know, I know...I could just edit it but ,whatever. Again, not your blog. :).

So , this is the IPA I had this weekend. It's from a PA brewery pub that is AWESOME! I will have to take pictures of it the next time I am there. Plus there are really cute men that work there. Good food, good beer and cute men...what's not to enjoy!!!

And I would like to say that I drank this growler all weekend but, alas, it lasted only the day. I haven't a clue , but I have been par taking in a lot more drinking of the beer of late. Usually , it takes like a month to get through a six pack. Now ,two days...lol
Also , IPAs are delish ,FYI .

Anyone have recommendations?

I used to love you, but I had to kill you.

It was obnoxiously beautiful this weekend that I had to drive around with windows open and music blaring . No real destination,just drove back roads. I found there are a lot of tiny towns. It sort of made me sad in a way.
So many towns that could merge and be stronger cities and share resources better. I love NYS in someways but mostly I have disdain for it and majority of its citizens. Though I will say, there a few cities that are kick ass such as Ithaca ,Seneca Falls, Woodstock,New Patlz  and Rhinebeck...parts of Rochester are ok ...lol

So back to driving around. Spring makes me happy lady. I returned home with a happy ,happy me having bought some beer and rabbit. So I set myself for a yummy cooking afternoon . Thankfully , my house was empty of anyone but myself , an even better joy than you can imagine . No kids makes me happy ( don't get me wrong ,I love the stink pots. But I am an adult that likes a bit of quiet in the house. Though small confession, would have been better with another adult but hey, people need to stop sleeping in till 3 pm lol.

I didn't take pics of the rabbit stew I made but it was sick . Like soooooooooo good sick.
I did however take pictures of the bread I made. I mean I went semi old school because I did use my kitchen aid to mix the dough . But I did knead it the second proof. I also made cookies from memory.

I think the memory I have is a bit off on that one. Though they were later eaten by said above stink pots the next day, I will say , I am not a baker nor really enjoy it. But bread baking is fun. Something just enjoyable about kneading dough and rocking out to music....drinking beer just added to the joy.