I am been trying to write a paper about my high end pasta machine for my boss that he wants to send off for trade magazines, for the past three days....No pressure ,right?
Monday, July 1, 2013
In your eyes, your pale blue eyes
This is me.... Just fresh scrubbed face me. Thought you like to see who was babbling on and on about nonsense.
Friday, June 28, 2013
Breasts like deflated torpedoes
Did you ever notice after you say something semi or for reals serious , you just think of something so very wrong that you make yourself puke from laughing so hard at your own stupidity and skanky humor?
Yeah.....that was me a minute ago. It involved an umbrella and a platypus .
(Heheheheh)
Ok so here are a few jobs , that if I lived near these cities I would consider....and I am dead serious.....look into my eyes..SERIOUSLY;)
http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/fbh/3901676272.html
http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/fbh/3901544367.html
http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/fbh/3901388437.html
http://montreal.en.craigslist.ca/fbh/3863636376.html
http://portland.craigslist.org/mlt/fbh/3899301696.html
http://portland.craigslist.org/mlt/fbh/3897781898.html
My favorite ad:
http://berlin.en.craigslist.de/fbh/3902074662.html
Summer gig
http://berlin.en.craigslist.de/fbh/3872619533.html
http://berlin.en.craigslist.de/fbh/3861563940.html
I seriously need one of you to win 150million in the lotto and be my sugar person.
If not, I am just going to keep writing about platypus and umbrellas .
I get this feeling I'm in motion,a sudden sense of liberty ......
Well , hello there sailor!! Miss me?
Oh my dearest blog, I have missed you. I know you have missed me as you have erased a post I have been working on for three weeks.....
Bitch.
That's ok. One thing I do not lack is a very long tight memory. I ,unfortunately ,remember to much... to many small details have been left in the deep ,dark nooks of my brain that not even therapy can purge. Thank god insurance paid for that.
So there blog...nah nah. I still win and now I am back . My squishy gray matter screaming for all the thoughts and things that have making me giggle to be excavated so that new ,more nauseating thoughts and things that make me pee myself can get locked in.
Oh blog ...my dearest blog... Lets catch up. Go get a drink, I'll wait.
Ok , so what has been happing to you?
Ok, silent treatment.....that's rather sexy if you ask me. I dig a moody , dark and non responsive blog...rawr!!
Oh, what have I been doing? Nothing much.
No, really ,nothing much. Work ,work work, good times,work,stuff, work,drama, drama, work ...and stuff.Though work and drama could actually be the same depending on the day. Major stuff has been happening and major players have been let go or leaving. So much behind the scenes stuff with people acting as if they are KGB or something. I hadn't realized that I was still in high school till about two weeks ago. Then it actually dawned on me, that YES, I was indeed back in high school and yes, I was still the odd kid(in a good way, not the booger eating ,toe nail clipping sticking to a canvas "I think I am dark and moody" way).There are the cool kids, the ones that know everything and everything goes their way. The quiet ones... They make very little waves and just float along. Then there is me.
It's sort of sad that we are in our 40's and 50's and instead just actually sitting down and speaking to one another about what the big plan is, stuff is done secretively and backstabbing is taking place by people who act as if they care about you.
No one cares .....I mean actually cares. And I care to much. I see the giant picture. I am forced too. I have too. No one else can or maybe they just don't want to. People are freaking out and I guess they should be. We are not doing as well as we should . I am to blame for a chunk of it and I have fully admitted to it. I let me guard down and trusted the wrong people to handle things because I need to take care of something....But that doesn't matter because things were not handled. Things got more messed up and now there are tense days and weeks. People are tense and fragile.
I am tired and with no one to really talk to about this , I am left to figure it all out like a big girl that I am now.I don't need or want empathy or sympathy. Life is hard ,that's a given,even when you're happy like a pig in poo like I am.
But .....sometimes, just sometimes, I wish there was like a hug squad. That a team of strong ,broad shoulder men wanders around waiting for the battle cry of a women (or man. Hey, no judgement here) that just needs a strong arm around their shoulder. A hug that lasts just a little to long or a cuddle that includes stroking of the hair. Can anyone recall just lying in bed with someone in a hug without exchanging words......just lying one on top of the other or on the sofa ,huddled together ...just in silence and then feeling so much better.
Sometimes silence and a loving hold can heal and sooth so much turmoil in a persons mind and soul.
Anybody want to cuddle ?
So.......How Did i do? To much? Verbal vomit get the best of me?
I am sober ,maybe that's it.
Oh, don't look at me like that. You know you love me. It's ok. I'll keep it between us.
But seriously, I have a sweet ass couch that is perfect for cuddling. Two people can stretch completely put on it. Like normal size people....like over 5'8" size people. Did I mention I love my couch? Though my bed is sweet too. New kick ass sheets and comforter.....and oh pillows too. New pillows!!!
I am just saying blog readers out there.......just saying.
Ohhhhhhhh does anyone know how to watch stuff from your computer on to the tv? Like say a soccer match or downloaded movie ? There is a beer in it for you!!!
Oh my dearest blog, I have missed you. I know you have missed me as you have erased a post I have been working on for three weeks.....
Bitch.
That's ok. One thing I do not lack is a very long tight memory. I ,unfortunately ,remember to much... to many small details have been left in the deep ,dark nooks of my brain that not even therapy can purge. Thank god insurance paid for that.
So there blog...nah nah. I still win and now I am back . My squishy gray matter screaming for all the thoughts and things that have making me giggle to be excavated so that new ,more nauseating thoughts and things that make me pee myself can get locked in.
Oh blog ...my dearest blog... Lets catch up. Go get a drink, I'll wait.
Ok , so what has been happing to you?
Ok, silent treatment.....that's rather sexy if you ask me. I dig a moody , dark and non responsive blog...rawr!!
Oh, what have I been doing? Nothing much.
No, really ,nothing much. Work ,work work, good times,work,stuff, work,drama, drama, work ...and stuff.Though work and drama could actually be the same depending on the day. Major stuff has been happening and major players have been let go or leaving. So much behind the scenes stuff with people acting as if they are KGB or something. I hadn't realized that I was still in high school till about two weeks ago. Then it actually dawned on me, that YES, I was indeed back in high school and yes, I was still the odd kid(in a good way, not the booger eating ,toe nail clipping sticking to a canvas "I think I am dark and moody" way).There are the cool kids, the ones that know everything and everything goes their way. The quiet ones... They make very little waves and just float along. Then there is me.
It's sort of sad that we are in our 40's and 50's and instead just actually sitting down and speaking to one another about what the big plan is, stuff is done secretively and backstabbing is taking place by people who act as if they care about you.
No one cares .....I mean actually cares. And I care to much. I see the giant picture. I am forced too. I have too. No one else can or maybe they just don't want to. People are freaking out and I guess they should be. We are not doing as well as we should . I am to blame for a chunk of it and I have fully admitted to it. I let me guard down and trusted the wrong people to handle things because I need to take care of something....But that doesn't matter because things were not handled. Things got more messed up and now there are tense days and weeks. People are tense and fragile.
I am tired and with no one to really talk to about this , I am left to figure it all out like a big girl that I am now.I don't need or want empathy or sympathy. Life is hard ,that's a given,even when you're happy like a pig in poo like I am.
But .....sometimes, just sometimes, I wish there was like a hug squad. That a team of strong ,broad shoulder men wanders around waiting for the battle cry of a women (or man. Hey, no judgement here) that just needs a strong arm around their shoulder. A hug that lasts just a little to long or a cuddle that includes stroking of the hair. Can anyone recall just lying in bed with someone in a hug without exchanging words......just lying one on top of the other or on the sofa ,huddled together ...just in silence and then feeling so much better.
Sometimes silence and a loving hold can heal and sooth so much turmoil in a persons mind and soul.
Anybody want to cuddle ?
So.......How Did i do? To much? Verbal vomit get the best of me?
I am sober ,maybe that's it.
Oh, don't look at me like that. You know you love me. It's ok. I'll keep it between us.
But seriously, I have a sweet ass couch that is perfect for cuddling. Two people can stretch completely put on it. Like normal size people....like over 5'8" size people. Did I mention I love my couch? Though my bed is sweet too. New kick ass sheets and comforter.....and oh pillows too. New pillows!!!
I am just saying blog readers out there.......just saying.
Ohhhhhhhh does anyone know how to watch stuff from your computer on to the tv? Like say a soccer match or downloaded movie ? There is a beer in it for you!!!
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Little pig ,little pig get in the damn smoker!
So, I am up at this hour doing what I do best......thinking.
I am actually up because after having a few cocktails Friday night , I crashed for two hours , got up again and took my eldest to the airport for his senior trip...at 3am . Then couldn't sleep, watched terrible indie film I haven't a clue the name . Stayed up till my mind had enough at 6pm till 9:30 . So, now I am wide awake.
Thinking.....
Actually , I was reading and doing basic research on business plans and writing proposals to get money etc. The whole thing will need someone helping me as (if you have been following this blog ,you would have noticed) I am not a fantastic speller and grammar person. I'm probably not bad at either , I'm just sort of a lazy writer...lol
But here I am reading this book called " Eat With Your Hands" . It's a fantastic book. Crusty,Funny and the food is fantastic!
One of the recipes , for smoking a whole pig, has these listed as basic necessities :
Three cases of beer ,on ice. In cans ,not bottles
A couple of joints
2 bottles of bourbon
Plastic cups
An 8- ball
1 carton of smokes
iPod and speakers
2 head lamps
Batteries
Sturdy folding chaired
Tarp tent in case it rains
3 friends who like to stay up all night and who understand the importance of maintaining a consistent temperature in a smoker and are funny as fuck.
I read that,smiled ,and thought..." I like to stay up all night"
Then I turned the page to find pictures of the pig that had smoked . I think I actually said " om nom nom" out loud in a sort of low panting sound.
Not weird at all.
I just found the recipe for pork fries.........made from braised pork belly and serviced ( yes i said serviced and not served)with aioli.
Just imagine it for a few minutes .....
Let it soak in.....
Now , stop licking your lips and dry off the drool.
Geez ,can't take you anywhere ,can I?
I am actually up because after having a few cocktails Friday night , I crashed for two hours , got up again and took my eldest to the airport for his senior trip...at 3am . Then couldn't sleep, watched terrible indie film I haven't a clue the name . Stayed up till my mind had enough at 6pm till 9:30 . So, now I am wide awake.
Thinking.....
Actually , I was reading and doing basic research on business plans and writing proposals to get money etc. The whole thing will need someone helping me as (if you have been following this blog ,you would have noticed) I am not a fantastic speller and grammar person. I'm probably not bad at either , I'm just sort of a lazy writer...lol
But here I am reading this book called " Eat With Your Hands" . It's a fantastic book. Crusty,Funny and the food is fantastic!
One of the recipes , for smoking a whole pig, has these listed as basic necessities :
Three cases of beer ,on ice. In cans ,not bottles
A couple of joints
2 bottles of bourbon
Plastic cups
An 8- ball
1 carton of smokes
iPod and speakers
2 head lamps
Batteries
Sturdy folding chaired
Tarp tent in case it rains
3 friends who like to stay up all night and who understand the importance of maintaining a consistent temperature in a smoker and are funny as fuck.
I read that,smiled ,and thought..." I like to stay up all night"
Then I turned the page to find pictures of the pig that had smoked . I think I actually said " om nom nom" out loud in a sort of low panting sound.
Not weird at all.
I just found the recipe for pork fries.........made from braised pork belly and serviced ( yes i said serviced and not served)with aioli.
Just imagine it for a few minutes .....
Let it soak in.....
Now , stop licking your lips and dry off the drool.
Geez ,can't take you anywhere ,can I?
Thursday, April 25, 2013
I used to be Snow White...but I drifted
Settle down..I know two posts in two days.
It's a Christmas miracle for sure.
Now before everyone gets all excited , this is going to be short and sweet.
I told you yesterday that it's busy catering time and basically busy, period. Sous Chef N is leaving and I have to deal with the other one( lord give me strength) BUT...little mama( that's me ,FYI. And happy also to say I am not BIG mama anymore . Woohoo ) has big catering a to do.
These giant catered events happen twice a year for us . So I thought I would just share how my mind works while trying to be creative and innovative.
You can see from the picture , I am all over the place. The one stack of papers are ideas from the net that I will twist and turn around on their head to make them mine. Rarely am I lazy enough to just take a recipe straight off the net and call it mine.
BORING!!!!
Oh and two of those papers have more ideas on the back.
There is a sort of Van Gogh/ Mapplethorpe way I do things.
Though I have my ears and well, my food is abstractly sexual.
What ?? It is!!
It's a Christmas miracle for sure.
Now before everyone gets all excited , this is going to be short and sweet.
I told you yesterday that it's busy catering time and basically busy, period. Sous Chef N is leaving and I have to deal with the other one( lord give me strength) BUT...little mama( that's me ,FYI. And happy also to say I am not BIG mama anymore . Woohoo ) has big catering a to do.
These giant catered events happen twice a year for us . So I thought I would just share how my mind works while trying to be creative and innovative.
You can see from the picture , I am all over the place. The one stack of papers are ideas from the net that I will twist and turn around on their head to make them mine. Rarely am I lazy enough to just take a recipe straight off the net and call it mine.
BORING!!!!
Oh and two of those papers have more ideas on the back.
There is a sort of Van Gogh/ Mapplethorpe way I do things.
Though I have my ears and well, my food is abstractly sexual.
What ?? It is!!
My butt hurts.....
Sorry my little blog and blogettes. Work picked up a little and my dearest sous chef is so on the verge of abandoning me that I have other things to attend to.
So , what's new with you?
( don't worry, I'll just have a conversation in my head where you say awesome stuff about me and I say stuff like ..." No really, you're to sweet." Or " please , continue". Win, win for all)
So , I got in trouble today for being sarcastic in comment cards.
Just let that soak in for a bit.
Now, I didn't swear at anyone and I did address the person it with the name they wrote...( sorry, you sign it sad fat girl, that's how it gets addressed.) And sure, I asked for large sums of money when they asked for fruity pebbles. But it wasn't like I expected these nerds to ACTUALLY have 50k on them or unicorns.
So apparently a few students just think highly of themselves and don't actually get sarcasm . Then again , most people can't spell sarcasm let alone know what it means or who to recognize it.
Look sarcasm is two things: deflection and humor. Sometimes both , but mostly one or the other. In my family , it's meant as humor. But in my life , I know many MANY people who use sarcasm because they have no soul .And they are really bad at trying to use it. Hence why they have no souls .
But did I also mention the other students who thought I was a hoot?
Yeah, who do you think gets my golden star?....not that I have said golden stars.
That would rather an odd thing or me to just have laying around.
Then again, this is me we are talking about.
So , what's new with you?
( don't worry, I'll just have a conversation in my head where you say awesome stuff about me and I say stuff like ..." No really, you're to sweet." Or " please , continue". Win, win for all)
So , I got in trouble today for being sarcastic in comment cards.
Just let that soak in for a bit.
Now, I didn't swear at anyone and I did address the person it with the name they wrote...( sorry, you sign it sad fat girl, that's how it gets addressed.) And sure, I asked for large sums of money when they asked for fruity pebbles. But it wasn't like I expected these nerds to ACTUALLY have 50k on them or unicorns.
So apparently a few students just think highly of themselves and don't actually get sarcasm . Then again , most people can't spell sarcasm let alone know what it means or who to recognize it.
Look sarcasm is two things: deflection and humor. Sometimes both , but mostly one or the other. In my family , it's meant as humor. But in my life , I know many MANY people who use sarcasm because they have no soul .And they are really bad at trying to use it. Hence why they have no souls .
But did I also mention the other students who thought I was a hoot?
Yeah, who do you think gets my golden star?....not that I have said golden stars.
That would rather an odd thing or me to just have laying around.
Then again, this is me we are talking about.
Friday, April 5, 2013
I need a hug and I need some love, and I really really wish you were here.
Well, first things first........
I might hold some sort of reject contest to see if anyone is paying attention to the titles of these posts. Some are random thoughts because I giggle at myself at 3am ,after three gin and tonic. Some are lines from songs I am listening to right now...like the lyrics above. The vast majority have nothing to do with what I am writing about. I am really just trying to grab your attention or cause I like the lyrics or saying etc etc. I doubt only my brother can tell me what song the title is from without looking it up,lol.
This isn't even really a post about anything...more of a preview post of things to come.
Subjects that will be tackled in the next few days:
Local sourcing
More about food trends
"Celebrity " chefs
Cooking channel vs food network...this will be HOT!
Fermenting
Sourdough
Adversion to sweets
Menu planning that is driving me nuts
Loss of sous chef N.
Stupid things
Food porn
Food in books
Health eating...you want me to eat that?
Nose to tail eating....why you should.
My restaurant ........looking for help
My tv show idea expanded
Why top chef is silly now
Ferran Adria is a god, but Marco Pierre White is a rock star
Honest take on being a female chef ....with no sarcasium I promise.......maybe.
Tequila Shrimp: the evil that was thankfully never was.
So that should keep us all busy for awhile.
Now,I think I will go watch paint dry.
I might hold some sort of reject contest to see if anyone is paying attention to the titles of these posts. Some are random thoughts because I giggle at myself at 3am ,after three gin and tonic. Some are lines from songs I am listening to right now...like the lyrics above. The vast majority have nothing to do with what I am writing about. I am really just trying to grab your attention or cause I like the lyrics or saying etc etc. I doubt only my brother can tell me what song the title is from without looking it up,lol.
This isn't even really a post about anything...more of a preview post of things to come.
Subjects that will be tackled in the next few days:
Local sourcing
More about food trends
"Celebrity " chefs
Cooking channel vs food network...this will be HOT!
Fermenting
Sourdough
Adversion to sweets
Menu planning that is driving me nuts
Loss of sous chef N.
Stupid things
Food porn
Food in books
Health eating...you want me to eat that?
Nose to tail eating....why you should.
My restaurant ........looking for help
My tv show idea expanded
Why top chef is silly now
Ferran Adria is a god, but Marco Pierre White is a rock star
Honest take on being a female chef ....with no sarcasium I promise.......maybe.
Tequila Shrimp: the evil that was thankfully never was.
So that should keep us all busy for awhile.
Now,I think I will go watch paint dry.
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