Monday, March 31, 2014

I am the most wonderful, beautiful paradox're the idoit.

God , I am soooo sick of  " I am a yoga doing , environmental warrior cause I have a bummer sticker" crack heads.
I live in an area that is one of the most economically depressed parts of New York. Our farmers struggle as much as the people who want to buy their products. Most would love nothing more than to feed their families better than the box dinners or fast food. Sadly , it is cheaper to go to a fast food place or even to pick up a sub at local supermarket than to feed your family decent, sound ,healthy food. Worse yet, try feeding your family all organic when they are teenage , athletic young men.

But of course , the weekend warriors with their hemp bags , seaweed protein drinks and slogan wrapped cars look down on the working mom/ dad for just trying to do right by their kids. Balancing working 10-15 hour days between probably 2 jobs sometimes 3 because they refuse to be yet another welfare family( I personally think single moms and dads who work multiple jobs to support their families and not be on welfare should be not only commended but admired) while trying to give their kids a decent balanced meal may not be rocket science to you but try doing it for $10 for family of 4 for three meals a day.

Wouldn't it be great if we lived in a world where the farmers could expand their land because the crops were being used by more people and more people had better access to lower cost fresh produce and proteins. There are great supermarkets like Whole Foods that give places like Wegmans a run for their money but they are by and large expensive for most working families to shop at regularly not to mention they are sporadic in the nation of where they actually are placed in towns.

I am by and large a huge supporter of Whole Foods, Trader Joes, Wegmans and places like the Lexington Co-op. in Buffalo,Ny, the Rouge Carrot in Alfred Ny, Abundance in Rochester ,Greenstar in Ithaca(one of my favorite outside of PCC natural market in Seattle),New Paltz Natural Foods ,Karma Road (a restaurant actually that's sooo delish) and shit ton more of places in Seattle including the Fremont Sunday Market...but more about it later). Places like these need more than  just the pseudo tree huggers shopping at them but everyone. Someway , some how we as a whole nation need to place pressure on each other to say that our future, our families are more important than getting 10 cans of salty soup for $2.
Better yet, let's get rid of Wal Mart. All Wal Marts. No one can tell me that cheaply made products are better than fair trade , handmade or recycled clothes.

Ok... I will admit that my undies are from target. My bathing suit too ,if of course ,I finally get one this year. And I have and like nice things. But nice things can also be hand made( think etsy) or from companies that have high sustainable and environmental standards. All our standards need to be a bit more higher and a lot more consistent.

It is not enough to be the occasional environmentalist or when it's convenient  for you because you want to keep up with the cool trend . Even worse , you get some odd thrill knowing people think your cool for being so into the environment..seriously I know some odd people( and I get it pot calling kettle black...yeah,yeah move on.)

Look... Shut up and just do it. And for Jesus , Mary and Joesph Stalin, recycle, reuse and give back.
And stop judging those that are not all " I  only eat  unpasteurized milk with my hemp oatmeal" like you and your bumper sticker crack head so called life cause frankly, you're an asshole.

Teach those who need help, embrace a simpler way of living and understand another persons life so that you can better your own with compassion.

So many people lack compassion......

Oh and laugh, for fuck sake laugh. You're only a unicorn once.

Monday, March 17, 2014

You'll stumble in my pudding.

I should be a better hostess of my blog. I know , I know.
I wish I could blame something of importance like work or illness, death in the family or broken heart. But honestly , though some of that has happen(and some hasn't) I have just been lazy , actually.
Well ,lazy and depressed but the depression has made me lethargic and unable to feel any sort of joy one feels when expressing joy of their passion. And I do have a great sense of joy when I cook or talk about cooking / food. 

I hit rock bottom 3 years ago after tailspining out of control for a few years ; going into a really bad depression that felt like it was never going to end. That is  untill my best friend said in her all nice way,"cut the fucking shit and get back into therapy".

So,three therapist later( a year I am on my third therapist , problem?) and I have learned many things.

Like I suck at arts and crafts. Ok, maybe the craft part. The art part I think I am pretty good at. I will never be a fantastic artist but hey, my parents actually still put my stuff up in their house in a nice frame. If that isn't parental support , I don't know what is. But I am not a knitter or a scrapbooker. Augh, I get hives just thinking about it.

I figured out I am a hunter of sorts... Mostly of cool and odd antiques. I love digging around and riffling through shit to find that odd little piece that someone is selling cheap because they have no idea what it is. Clothes and jewelry have always been on my lists but now it's decent vinyl and home stuff like kitchen gadgets or bar wear ; more unusual the better.        

I also learned I take on to much responsibility for other peoples happiness and yet care so little for my own or for my own well being. In other words; I don't use my big girl words. Like stop to no. Or worse, please help me.  Though my favorite right now is ," can you please just give me 5 minutes to think in silence". 
One problem ( yes ,one....I am to tired to indulge you with all my newly discovered problems or as I like to call them quirks) if you can call it that , is that I don't like being groped. I thought it was an insecurity or self esteem etc . Turns out ,not it. I just was man handled so many times as a young, female cook that it actually turns my stomach when someone smacks my ass or grabs at me. The worse is having a male cook rub up on me( to bad there is no sound on here cause I just dry heaved ). I am sure other young ,female cooks have endured this. Heck , probably even some male cooks. Personally,I have   never done this to any of my staff, ever. Sadly, I have had some of my colleges in my present job rub up on me and just took it; laughing it off cause  god forbid I act like a lady and get repulsed by their action. Then I am a bitch or a ...( cover your eyes) cunt.

Though one day , one of them will find a shank in their wieners.

By shank , I mean a lamb shank..( I was going to make a joke here but my mind drifted off to a delish lamb shank braised in a pilsner for 8 hours then coated with a mustard ,gherkin  and Demi sauce. And hot , buttery spaetzl . Mmmmmmmmmmmmm)