Sunday, December 13, 2009

A follow up thing to the last rantish thingy

the *** was this..

the show I would want to do on  Food Network would be to take musicians ,take their favorite foods and do a spin on them . Either healthy , quicker and just better  and or make a meal out of ingredients they have on hand (which would be a soup for ALL!!!!)....We would of course invade their homes and take stock of what they have and go for it.

Mind you this is not a show that would have Dolly Parton or Bon Jovi. Think Trent Reznor and Depeche Mode type of people.

I think people of my generation would like it. At least they like to see the inside of some of their refrigerators....yes I know at the very core I am a fangirl. 38 and a fangirl....Not stalker...fangirl there is a difference. Not like i have someones full length face tattooed on my back

I can see myself now trying to convince Dave Gahan of Depeche that there is more to life than fags (cigarettes)greek food  and diet Coke.

"goes all dreamy at the possibilities"

Xmas came early for some good little girl

Was told by the client last week that they live in fear of losing me to Food Network.

Now while it would take a shit load of money and me to be have the show as I exactly want it***
to lure me to Food Network, the sentiment was appreciated. But the reality is I have a great staff that thankfully after almost two years, they know how i like things done without me having to explain myself .
Cooks are the lest appreciated people in foodservice. Servers know right away by their tips if they have done a good job.Cooks...well the best we can hopeful is the food doesnt come back.

Complaint number 1 that drives us nuts:

Order for MR beef and it is cooked beautifully and it comes back with a request for it to be cooked more!!!

please will go through it for you.

Rare.....Bloody and Cold center. Barely cooked
Medium Rare........Cooked a little longer, slightly bloody warmish middle center very little blood and warm center
Medium Well.....very thin strip of pink warm center
Well....Get the chicken.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

It's the end of the world as we know it ...............

What is the best meal you ever had???

I have been asked this and countless other questions about my business and food by many many people , family and friends...even strangers at airports.

Easily one could say a holiday meal at their parents. My mom always made great holiday food..traditional thanksgiving was the best. I can still see the wood bowl with the cut up bread with poultry seasoning in it and sauteed celery and onions....mmmmmm I still cook her "recipes" for it to this day.

And there have been many many great meals I had in Toronto or at my brothers wedding rehersal but some of those are more the people I was with than the actual food.

But for me , the very best meal I have ever had was this past summer while vacationing in Montreal.

My best gal and I were in town on my birthday for a Depeche Mode concert. There is a placed owned but a wonderful chef named Martin Picard...Au Pied De Cochon( The Foot of the Pig). It is this sweet little place..oh sweet jesus I love the look of it. Open kitchen, wood floors, tight tables and only really the rumbling of the people rather than music drowning everyone out. Even the bathroom is cool.

But it is the food....mmmmmm so many choices. I swear Shelly either was afraid to order anything because of her tummy or just didnt want me spending money on But it was on my BF card .
I had the house ale and it was sooo good.
The bus girl dropped some fresh bread that with the beer they could have just kept coming and we would have been just fine.

Shelly had a very nice salad with pommes frites deep fried in DUCK FAT....YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY.

Now  me....I had been thinking about what I wanted for a month( I am a  food geek after all) it was a toss up for the duck in a can( I shit you not) or pied de cochon.

The trotter won.....


   Me in the this bathroom!!!

We both got the little deep fry package..and after "dissecting it" decided it was best left to the unknown mind since it was soooo tasty.

the best part were the goodness I have never tasted anything sooo fucking GOOD.
I wrote the recipe will post that later but all i can say is that I had some leftover...brought it back from Montreal in a 6 hr car drive ( in a cooler) and ate it 5 days later and it tasted just as good the first time...

I recommend it to anyone......made my brother jealous.....

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Femme Fatale


I am a female cook/chef/head lacky should be sitting pretty sweet after 24 years in the "Biz" ,right?


Being a female in food service, like any male dominated field, sucks. Not only do I have to prove myself time and time again but i have to do it with a smile and a baby suckling from each breast. Oh and  a clean house and fresh laundry.

Fuck that!!!

If I am going to be the big wig and earn the bigger bucks and work 7432984132431 hrs a week, then don't expect a Stepford Wife house . Sorry, but even a monkey can do laundry...haven't the time to even put it away sometimes.

Female Chefs are expected to pull their weight as if they are men. There are no accomedations when we are pregnant( read this as a women who was 8.5 months along with baby #2 and working the grill at Disney.) if we want to retain some dignantiy....what little we have left cause sister...who in their right mind wears makeup in a 100 degree kitchen. You can't look your best with sweat dripping from your forhead, your ears, your breasts etc. And the reality is you have to be a cunt( pardon my language) have to  be stronger than the " boys" at every step of the way.

And trust me...they may love having a pussy in the kitchen, but if your better than them ( and you probably are....even my own brother realizes this) christ...look out. These sweet nice men with toss your ass so far under the bus that the crossing guard will pitty you. And it gets worse as you get older because your deemed as a realic to some of these young hot shots with their frozen cream top avocado essence..blah blah.

And you know what is worse than men in the kitchen....another women. OH GOD NO!!!!
I rather eat hiss cockroaches than work with females in the kitchen( not on my staff more side by side) I work with a female catering director and while I love her to death...i swear one of us is going to knife the other during an event ( i say that with love and affection).

Oh and god forbide you want to have kids let alone sleep with someone other than a coworker( dont sleep with coworkers.....remember these people are your backbone as your side of line goes into the weeds and if the sex sucked well forget them setting your plates for you.) or have a life.At 38 I still have what only may look like a life....I have a partner and kids ...but I am social weirdo and inept.....

I think I did right by my sons and had them when I was in my early 20's. They grew up with my long crazy hours and sleepless nights as I tried to figuare out the meaning of fiddleheads. They realize that there are times when 5pm really mean 8pm and that mommy sometimes needs to veg out for an hour before her mind snaps back into reality of mommie mode before asking her "whats for dinner?"

Your body as a female chef/cook takes the real beating. Once were long slender limbs replaced with tree trunk legs and hobbit feet. My knees are blown, my feet hate me, i have burn scares all over my body, my finges..heck  even my hair hurts. Our bodies were not meant to haul 75 boxes of chicken but we do it( and blow out our backs the first time trying).

But i suppose there is no other way ...baptism by fire i guess. Funny enough the whole industry has gone very PC. You can't raise your voice or talk stern to an employee or coworker without someone crying foul espically to females. For me don't patronize me, don't call me sweetheart when i am trying to voice my thoughts, don't smack my ass( unless I am naked in private),i will scrub the grease trap as long as skippy does the same. You can call me a dumb bitch in german ,french yiddish etc..and guess what, I will understand you. I will smile at you while you try to fuck with me and you will never see me break...till the year later and I break and cry like a little girl at you after I have yelled at someone for asking me for the hand blender.

I will never be anyones is the one thing I have earned after 24 years.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

I haven't forgotten you my little food bog...i swear!!!!!

will be beck on Friday...been under the weather of late. Many rants building me a headache!

Friday, October 30, 2009

Your telling me its in the skies well use your eyes.. .....

Go Green....

We hear it everyday from Auto Industry, Diaper Companies and the President. But really, can everyone really go green...totally green?

Well, probably not. Not unless you want to give up some things that frankly, I  for one don't want nor think I should as the impact on the earth and my carbon foot is relatively small.

But what i do think as a whole world we can do is to feed ourselves with local farmers. Every nuck and cranie has farms. There are dairy, fruit,vegetable,grain ,pig etc farmers everywhere. With in 50 miles of where you live there are probably 10 farms.

Sustainability is a key to our own survival. We have far to long raped the earth of its resources and now  have to sort of back track in our thinking about food sources in the long term way.

There is no reason to go all crazy and go vegan ...that's just nutters. We have the teeth we have for a reason. But that being said there is no reason to go all crazy in the other extreme and eat tons of beef. Like anything moderation is a key here ...think of it as a life cycle diet. You're born you live and you between that time we eat and more than one way too.

But all the planning is fine and dandy on is the execution that fucks it all up.

To many chiefs and not enough Indians make for a bloody mess and then everyone is left wondering.."WTF?"
OR " I didn't do it." One voice needs to lead and bring people together to form some sort of coalition with farmers and manufacturers in order to process food products or food for the consumer that are free of chemicals, low in fats and are sustainable to the earth.
One group can not control everything if we are to replenish ourselves for future generations...the WHOLE world has to be on board too.

It boggles the mind that as a WORLD...we are not speaking to each other more and with better communication skills about food and such. We all have to eat...Each Country has specific locations that have weather patterns and growing seasons...why do we not work with each other to ensure we are ALL eating properly...(when i say this I mean that we as a world are sharing our food wealth...we can not force someone to actually eat the food...though i love to .)

We are a wealth WORLD.....instead of being dicks to each other , why not just shut the fuck up and do the right thing/ No one nation is better than the other. There is no one perfect out there. But there are a lot of people with good ideas that need to be heard.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

What does not not kill you, only lets you marinate that much longer.....

My Pastry Chef made this for a friend of mine's is a butter cake....Julia Child would be proud.



Show plates to impress a client.....we got the account.



part of the grain bar we do...

Lobster Bisque in Shot Glasses...I am nutters for using shot glasses ...everything is better in a shot glass

Making Spatzel

With a Squirt Bottle

Smokey Gazpacho with Creme Fraiche and Sourdough Cruton...mmmmm

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

More and More and More FOOOOOOD PORNNNNN!!!

Kosher Turkey with roasted peaches and cranberry glaze

Smoked Salmon Platters...mmmmmm

This actually looks and tastes amazing...though not so here...
Chicken Florentine with herb wild rice blend pilaf and butternut squash with wild flower honey and butter.

Paul being usual!

Bittersweet Chocolate Wafer Cake...i still have some in my fridge.

Seafood Cerviche in English Cucumber Cups

Lemon Meringue Tart Bits

Trio of desserts>Black Forest Terrine, Fresh Peach and Almond Tart and Fresh Berry Trifle

Turkish Salad Mix

Dinner Menu

It's still fall and it has snowed already.

close up of delish cake

More Food Songs...cause i have a memory that comes and goes.

Tart Tart
Judge Fudge>>>>>Happy Mondays

Candy> Morphine
Fried Chicken> Ice -T
I want a little sugar in my bowl> Nina Simone
Honey> Moby
Orange Crush> REM
White Chocolate Space Egg - Liz Phair
Cornflake Girl - Tori Amos
Constant Craving - k.d. lang

Monday, October 26, 2009

Pills, Thrills and many Bellyaches later.........

Step by step of me making Butternut Squash,Sage and Roasted Shallot Raviolis in Brown Butter

And the finished product...for a wedding

If you have the them this way. So easy and soooooo yummy

Monday, October 12, 2009

I should have been a pastry chef like all little girls want to be

job posting was brought to my attention by a friend.

why don't the Germans need a highly educated female chef to teach them how to cook american comfort food?
because they don't want to get chubby

Though I am not sure Europe is ready for a 1/2 breed of American traditional food done the way I like to do it( not with the traditional twist bullshit but better with multicultural influences and "styles"...whatever that Rachael Ray word means..) Hell I am still trying to figure out what  I mean by that.....

Sunday, October 11, 2009

They shoot horses don't they....

So Conde made the great descision to close the doors on one of the few food magazines that is ,while a bit pretenious, is a rather good read. There are really only a few food magazines:
Food and Wine
Bon Appetite

That are any good, though i dare say Bon is a housewives wet dream for cooking better, Food and Wine for people looking to seem they know what they are talking about when it comes to food, Saveur  and Cooks are the ones i do like because of the tone of magazines.

Gourmet is sort of like Vogue for cooks... a bit flashie, showie and some of the articles probably even make Jacques Pepin shake his head.

But to close it after all these years....shameful. Pick on some other crap magazine own enough of ...Bon Appetite!!!! and Teen

What will probably come of this is some "chef" will think they have brillant ideas that need to be heard by the masses and will try to start their own magazine....

.......huh, not a half bad idea;)

Sunday, October 4, 2009

I wonder what kind of sauce goes with a rainbow?

Had an Idea to gather all the songs i knew that had food or were food related in the title.
All I have is EAT IT....must think about this more.

ok, so here we go:
Eat for Two: 10,000 Maniacs
Sushi Bar : Shonen Knife
Mayonnaise: Smashing Pumpkins
Quiche Lorraine: B 52's
Hot Cakes: Carley Simon
Egg Man: Beastie Boys
The Egss of Satan: Tool
Spam: Monty Python
Pulling mussles from a shell" -Squeeze
Soup is Good Food- Dead Kennedys
Satan Gave me a Taco- Beck
Chicken- The Cramps
Pork Soda- Primus
 Chocolate Jesus- Tom Waits
Hot Sauce- Thomas Dolby
Pour Some Sugar on Me - Def Leppard
Lemon" - U2
Strawberry Fields Forever - Beatles
"Raspberry Beret - Prince
Cinnamon Girl" - Neil Young
I want Candy- Bow Wow Wow
American Pie Don McLean
Brown Sugar The Rolling Stones

thats all i got right now as I am very tired and need to sleep some before work....

Rock and Roll may soothe the soul but Osso Bucco makes me hot and bothered...

I love the rich , deep flavors that fall brings. Fall and Spring bring the best variety in terms food.
I mean , really venison, turkey, cranberries, squashes, rabbit,potatoes, root vegetables apples and pears..mmmmm
The colors of lend themselves to creative palates of dark chocolate browns and , deep sienna reds , burnt oranges and rich yellows.
We also indulge in musky ,oakie, earthy almost feel like your tasting the mother nature. Rich goat cheese is made,  pomegranates  their rich color and antioxidant qualities are just the surface beauties of this hard to get at seed that adds texture and a burst of flavor to salads and sauces.
Fall harvest my favorite herb: Thyme. I LOVE goes with everything...salads, sauces, soups, ice cream( yes Ice Cream!!!!!) not one thing except say sushi can be enhanced by thyme.

Fall is probably one of the most over looked culinary seasons. People tend to lean to heavy dishes of stews and casseroles as the weather cools. But this need not be the case. Osso Bucco can be a light earthie dish  ,rich in oak and current flavors if done right.
Butternut squash and acorn squash tend to be over cooked then mashed up with cream and butter...nothing wrong in that. But why not simpley  steam them and puree with a bit of vegetable stock or soy milk for a light healthier soup or side. I personally like to roast either with olive oil and kosher salt...nice and carmlized.

And what about meats? Have you given Bison a whirl? Much leaner and tastier than regular beef. Makes excellent chili..but can be slightly pricier...FYI...ground beef peeps: get the 90/10 blend...better for you. and yields more end product than the much fattier 70/30 blend.
Or maybe rabbit and venison? A bit more of game taste to them but lean and delish!!

Hasenpfeffer rocks!!!

but i ramble as usual. ......

I almost forgot one of my favorite foods: APPLES !!!!!!
I love apples as much as i love diet pepsi!!!!! I mean they are so good in stuffing, pies , sauces, chutneys,bread muffins ...gosh i could go on and on!!!!!!!!


I will go have to find my fav apple recipe and post it. .....that's if i can find it in the mess i call

Thursday, October 1, 2009

All good things to those who wait

I suppose in this day and age of " Give it to me now or I'll cut the bitch" attitude, It doesnt surprise me the lack of food knowledge among the younger generation. Yes, I am speaking to you miss 18 -25 year old.

Not everyone has the patience to cook what people coin as gourmet meals. Hell most chefs would rather nawh at a piece of MR to almost with a pulse slab of beef than eat escargot or pigeon. But we know what we are eating.
I have listen to many a child( I will call my "students " child as a general term and is in now way meant as belittling to them) ask.."what is it " to something as painfully obvious as country fried steak but will shoval other things that just because there is one thing familiar on it they assume it is what it is,only to get surprised....I actually do love the.."oh shit " look.

It's painful to see kids load their plates up with pizza hamburgers and wraps all on my plate then have the balls to turn to us and say I have stomach problems because of the food you serve me. Guess again sunshine.
Even my 10 year old knows that he should have 4-6 servings of fruit a day.

Personal responsibility about food seems to have gone by the waste side these days and its easy to blame the food service industry than to say.." well I am a fat fuck so maybe i shouldnt eat 4 slices of pizza , two burgers, two desserts and a salad loaded with ranch and shredded cheese. I serve 90% good solid homemade food. Sure there are some "canned" products and prepared foods that we use as a convience but not as often as you running to Taco Hell for your Gorditio fill.

Love your body...listen to it and its natural decently....I am not an advocate for all natural organic tofu woohooo stuff. But you dont need a dozen doughnuts..not even a chick on her worse PMS day could do that ..........

...............................well maybe if there was a diet pepsi or two involved.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Has the world stop spinning???

I have finally found someone who is over CUPCAKES!!!!!

How can you be over CUPCAKES???? They are the perfect portable food and tidy neat package....
What is wrong with a tasty little treat.....

So to spite them ...I give you :

THE PANCAKE -BACON courtesy of Yummy Cupcakes(who have the best variety of cupcakes):

Monday, September 28, 2009

More Food Porn

my 1/2 eaten English Breakfast @ Duke of Gloucester in Toronto...not shown is my pint(s)..

Four great things....Beef Tenderloin MR,Steamed Asparagus, Popover , and HOLLANDAISE...mmmm

Beef Tenderloin wrapped in BACON

Not exactly food but mmmmmmmm BEER!!!!

Vegetarian Delights(Wild Mushroom Tarte Tatin w/Tomato Coulis and Baby Carrots)

Experimental open Sushi

Chocolate Ravioli

I had a crazy idea that i would make gravloxs during the busiests period of the year ,short staffed. It turned out GREAT!!!!!

See ..........I am wearing my big girl pants...and jacket and headband..

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord Split ya.

The food service indusrty has one of the highest turn over rates. It can get quite expensive to keep training and etc new staff every few weeks and also very annoying.

Most fast food places expect this and have factored this into their budget. But places like where i work, our turn over rate is only applied to our student workers. The biggest turn over happens within the first few weeks of the semester. Then it tapers and we can pretty much tell who will stay and who wont make it.....they are easy to spot. ..freak outs over more than two orders at a time. It's sad but sometimes kids just can't juggle work and school.

But what we as mangers don't expect is when a long time employee who we are trying to coach and nurture and help expand their skills so they can move up fucks us over and ups and quits.

Now I understand when people feel they have gone as far as they can and feel that the new position they have found is better for them....GO FOR IT. But have a bit of class and backbone.....wait scratch that ,  I mean manners and maturity to give your place of current work more than an hour notice.

This just happen to us after this particular person was getting all my love and help and I was trying to take them under my wing so to speak and they were doing great. Myself and another manager covered for them in a questions asked. They got away with a lot of stuff  that in any other place , they would have gotten written up for.
So instead of given us some common courtesy.... they came in and said this is my last day.
To which we say....SEE YA!!!! and don't come back looking for your job cause it won't be here.

Who is teaching people to act like this??? This not the first time I have been at places where people either stop showing up( my favorite was I had a employee who never showed up for his shift one day and when I called him he told me he called and left a message saying he was quiting....oh really with who because ya didnt talk to me....dumb ass) or quit without two week or even a weeks notice.

COMMON SENSE PEOPLE. if you work somewhere for more than a might want to do yourself a BIG favor and don't fuck your employer  over. Someday you might want a super duper  reference from them......

Friday, September 25, 2009

Tip Your Hat and Beer to Mr. Guinness

Sorry Arthur G!! I am late by a day. Was to wrapped up in Harps( Guinness light to you weirdos) to remember to write my love "poem"

Thanks to you I can make stew  laced with rich thick stout. Because of YOU, my fondue is creamy yumminess.
Thanks to your beer there is ice cream in my mind( because i forgot to get the rock salt) that will be enriched by your deep darkness...mmmmmmmmm

250 and you don't look a day over 249.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

There is no place like"home"

Sadly, home for me is not actually warm and fuzzy  Ozzie and Harriet. It's my work. My actually home...well I know where it is, i know what it looks like but really, I only sleep , shower, veg occasionally in front of the tv and sometimes even cook a meal there. I don't even do my laundry( my 14 year old, bless his soul, does the laundry for the house.) But I am grateful for the "home" I have. It's clean, organized and well maintained.

I say this because I was recently at another location  to assist with a function and the situation is bad. I mean really bad, like "please someone close the place down and rip this shit up and put it all together. again".

It scared me they were serving people from not only this particular kitchen but from the hot line as well.
Two factors were the problem: the equipment is older than dirt and the cooler/freezer were a mess....I mean so disorganized  and improper storage of raw meats and produce...made me want to spend a day just pulling everything out and then scrubbing it then placing everything back in.
The events them self were pretty easy but  so disorganized..I am super organized...I mean my lists have lists that have lists.
Nothing here except for  a small list . But even then 1/2 the stuff was brought in and I haven't a clue why I  there. The two events I could have done easily by myself if I did what this chef did.

It made me thankful for the places I work in...we have our problems but thanks to OCD we are a clean machine.

OCD is handy at times in the food service industry , though at times it can make you crazy when you think everyone else should be thinking like you.

Sunday, September 13, 2009


Maple Bacon Doughnut lovenly brought back from Portland Or. by my very lovely best girlfriend Shelly. Disgusting as it may appear if you look at it as a big pancake with bacon it makes sense.....especially if you're from Canada.

The McMini ....mmmmm from Montreal McDonalads. Basically their version of a chicken baguette sandwich with pesto. Very Yummy!!!!!! When in Rome ya know. 

Beautiful Cupcake from Itsi Bitsi in Montreal. I think mine was Lemonaide.
Heavy like a cake ...very dense. But very YUMMMY!!!