Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Pop goes the weasel ,cause the weasel goes pop

I had something really funny to say and sitting here all I can think is I have to go to the bathroom really badly.

So , now that that's taken care of... My friend David and I were talking about sex the other day. Mostly objects,places and whys ..usual chef talking in all honesty.

Oh FYI, David is happily married man with a wonderful wife and two beautiful little girls. ...just point of reference.

We both sort of giggled that chefs probably talk about sex in some sort of way everyday,every hour and depending on the establishment every moment we can. Culinary arts is a very sexual industry. Not just in how we talk to each other but in the foods we use.

So from the perspective of a 15 year GIRL food industry was the way to hang out with men( boys, who wants to hang out with boys) and be seduced into this world. I remember as a young lass, the world I walked into was full of 27-35 year old crusty, drug taking,beer guzzling sex gods. I was all virginal and their little project.
For four years I was treated as an equal ( ok so not really till I was 17. They treated me like a little kid till then but that's ok) . I was introduced to drugs, hard booze,oral sex, man handling,everything had sexual overtones to it, every bit of music that blared was dark and pulsating . They never wanted to have sex with me, they just wanted me to think they did. They seduced me into their world and taught me about other men and about pleasure just as they were teaching me how to sharpen my knives or make hollandaise.
These were my rock and roll gods. I still remember all their names.

Other places never came close to this place or these men. Sure most male chefs try to get me worked up about sex because I am a female. But it never works . I am usually teaching them the correct word or usage. The grab ass has swiftly been eliminated in the industry because of PC and I suppose in other industries its best thing. Food service is different though. I never knew any women sleeping her way to executive chef( god why would you) or shit like that.
My sous and I probably cross the line ( not saying we dry hump in the storage area lol) but we talk about sex a lot and giggle ..or whatever.

Then there is the food....bananas,carrots,oysters gooey duck clams,clams, horseradish root ... So many things that look like vaginas and penises .....
Then there are sexual aphrodisiac properties of foods like oysters ,strawberries and anise(licorice),potatoes( I haven't a clue) chocolate ( happy endorphins ) caffeine ,asparagus...mmmm,garlic and mustard. Then again Rhino horn ground up is said to make a man have an erection for days....

Ouchie ouchie


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