Friday, June 28, 2013

I get this feeling I'm in motion,a sudden sense of liberty ......

Well , hello there sailor!! Miss me?

Oh my dearest blog, I have missed you. I know you have missed me as you have erased a post I have been working on for three weeks.....


That's ok. One thing I do not lack is a very long tight memory. I ,unfortunately ,remember to much... to many small details have been left in the deep ,dark nooks of my brain that not even therapy can purge. Thank god insurance paid for that.

So there blog...nah nah. I still win and now I am back . My squishy gray matter screaming for all the thoughts and things that have making me giggle to be excavated so that new ,more nauseating thoughts and things that make me pee myself can get locked in.

Oh blog dearest blog... Lets catch up. Go get a drink, I'll wait.
Ok , so what has been happing to you?

Ok, silent treatment.....that's rather sexy if you ask me. I dig a moody , dark and non responsive blog...rawr!!

Oh, what have I been doing? Nothing much.

No, really ,nothing much. Work ,work work, good times,work,stuff, work,drama, drama, work ...and stuff.Though work and drama could actually be the same depending on the day. Major stuff has been happening and major players have been let go or leaving. So much behind the scenes stuff with people acting as if they are KGB or something. I hadn't realized that I was still in high school till about two weeks ago. Then it actually dawned on me,  that YES, I was indeed back in high school and yes, I was still the odd kid(in a good way, not the booger eating ,toe nail clipping sticking to a canvas "I think I am dark and moody" way).There are the cool kids, the ones that know everything and everything goes their  way. The quiet ones... They make very little waves and just float along. Then there is me.

It's sort of sad that we are in our 40's and 50's and instead just actually sitting down and speaking to one another about what the big plan is, stuff is done secretively and backstabbing is taking place by people who act as if they care about you.

No one cares .....I mean actually cares. And I care to much. I see the giant picture. I am forced too. I have too. No one else can or maybe they just don't want to. People are freaking out and I guess they should be. We are not doing as well as we should . I am to blame for a chunk of it and I have fully admitted to it. I let me guard down and trusted the wrong people to handle things because I need to take care of something....But that doesn't matter because things were not handled. Things got more messed up and now there are tense days and weeks. People are tense and fragile.

I am tired and with no one to really talk to about this , I am left to figure it all out like a big girl that I am now.I don't need or want empathy or sympathy. Life is hard ,that's a given,even when you're happy like a pig in poo like I am.

But .....sometimes, just sometimes, I wish there was like a hug squad. That a team of strong ,broad shoulder men wanders around waiting for the battle cry of a women (or man. Hey, no judgement here) that just needs a strong arm around their shoulder. A hug that lasts just a little to long or a cuddle that includes stroking of the hair. Can anyone recall just lying in bed with someone in a hug without exchanging words......just lying one on top of the other or on the sofa ,huddled together ...just in silence and then feeling so much better.

Sometimes silence and a loving hold can heal and sooth so much turmoil in a persons mind and soul.

Anybody want to cuddle ?

So.......How Did i do? To much? Verbal vomit get the best of me?
I am sober ,maybe that's it.

Oh, don't look at me like that. You know you love me. It's ok. I'll keep it between us.

But seriously, I have a sweet ass couch that is perfect for cuddling. Two people can stretch completely put on it. Like normal size over 5'8" size people. Did I mention I love my couch? Though my bed is sweet too. New kick ass sheets and comforter.....and oh pillows too. New pillows!!!

I am just saying blog readers out there.......just saying.

Ohhhhhhhh does anyone know how to watch stuff from your computer on to the tv? Like say a soccer match or downloaded movie ? There is a beer in it for you!!!

No comments: